By Patrick Weeks
Lucie witnesses Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle gagging herself with handkerchiefs and gradually develops a coughing fetish. Kicked out by her puritanical parents, she begins licking telephone booths in hopes of contracting hay-fever (to no avail). Living on the street, Lucie joins the sex-trade and contracts HIV. Alone in her apartment having developed pneumonia, she dies happy.
Benjamin Bunny grows up with a distant father who often utilizes corporal punishment. After the trauma of being trapped under Mr. MacGregor’s cat with his cousin Peter, Benjamin begins to associate lack of control with his developing sexual identity. Scared and confused, he lives in fear of his father discovering the real reason his cane goes missing regularly. Years later, “B” brings home his boyfriend Todd and reveals his “Bitch” tattoo to Mom and Dad.
After losing her first clutch of eggs to wild dogs and half of her second due to, “bad nerves,” Jemima Puddle-Duck is certified by the Department of Child Services as an unfit mother. Her surviving progeny become wards of the state, and Jemima is confined to a residence for the mentally unstable. Hopped up on Xanax, she hoards eggs from the residence cafeteria. In exchange for regular “beak jobs,” her psychiatrist approves her release, whereupon she immediately finds a pet store, buys a puppy, and devours it.
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