Owl is really fucking refreshing.

Review by Kate McKenna

I am so sick of (a) casiotone and/or minimalist gloomy tunes (a la Earlimart) and (b) cheerful, big twee bands (a la Boy Least Likely To).  Where is the middle ground?   It's nearing the end of Winter, and what I crave more than anything is warmth.  My craving is satisfied with Owl.

The Halifax duo has yet to release an album, but is generating waves in an already-buzzing music scene.  Comprised of too-cute-for-words couple Vanessa Murnaghan and Matthew MacDonald (Superfantastics), it's not surprising that their sound is warm, comforting, and pensive.  Matthew's steady and almost - is this an oxymoron? - natural programming compliments Vanessa's double tracked, steady, and at times euphoric vocals.  Given the strength of the latter, it's a testament to how well the two work together that MacDonald doesn't push it further with the programming.  In their brave cover of Deathcab's Passenger seat, Murnaghan's vocals replace the piano seemingly effortlessly.

Owl is one of the best new maritime acts in a time when new maritime acts are awesome.  Expect huge things from this band.

Sex with Sadie

Sex with Sadie is a new column to give advice to the carnally unfortunate. While some questions are all in fun, serious queries are more than welcome. Please email me at sexwithsadie@gmail.com. Alternatively, you can stop me in the hallways of UPEI and see how bright red my face turns! 

Q:  I really hate the taste of condoms.  They're disgusting, like I'm sucking on a latex glove.  Is there any way around this? - Signed, In Poor Taste 

A:   There are a couple of options you have here.  If you're with a monogamous partner and you've both been tested by a doctor for STI's, there is no need for a condom.  Oral sex does not lead to pregnancy, therefore it would only be STI's you're worried about.  If you are giving blow jobs to someone you may not think is monogamous or has not been tested (don't trust your gut,ask him!) then you should definitely strap one on him.  There are plenty of flavoured condoms out there.  Pick your favourite taste and go to town, risk free! 

Q:  My lover and I have been having sex around town in public places.  We're running out of ideas!  Any help? - Signed, Public Domain 

A:  Oh, gross!  Were you two the ones I heard in the library study room?  That's just rude to the books.  Go home and shack up there. 

Q:  My girlfriend asked me to partake in her fantasy.  It involves tying me up for three days in her basement in a particularly - erm - degrading outfit.  Should I go along with it? - Signed, Carnally Concerned 

A:  No.  That would be defined as kidnapping.  Catscans are in order. 

Q:  I finally scored this chick I was after!  But when I got her in the sack, I couldn't get it up!  What's the deal? - Signed, Just a Softy 

A:  Ah yes, the Dan Dreiberg Syndrome (Watchmen?  Anyone?).  In any case, do not fret.  It's more likely nerves than anything.  What's probably happened is you've worked up to the moment of getting your crush into bed to the point where it's scary to think it's actually happening.  Just relax!  She obviously has feelings for you too.  Next time, just take a deep breath, don't hype it up, and don't overanalyse! 

If it's happening repeatedly, however, it is something you should talk to your doctor about.  Erectile dysfunction is NOT only present in aging males (contrary to popular belief).

If We Could Talk to the Taliban

By Henry Srebrnik

The 1967 musical “Doctor Dolittle” is the story of a doctor who learns from his pet parrot to talk to animals. The film starred Rex Harrison, Samantha Eggar, Anthony Newley and Richard Attenborough, and the song “Talk to the Animals” was performed in the film by Harrison.

Here are the first two stanzas, and the last, of the movie’s song:

If I could talk to the animals, just imagine it,

Chattin’ with a chimp in chimpanzee,

Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah,

What a neat achievement it would be!

If we could talk to the animals, learn all their languages,

I could take an animal degree,

I’d study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle,

Alligator, guinea pig, and flea!

If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages

Think of all the things we could discuss

If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals,

Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals,

And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to us.

Using the same tune, I’d like to introduce a song which might interest, among others, Barack Obama and Stephen Harper. It’s called “Talk to the Taliban.”

If I could talk to the Taliban, just imagine it,

Chattin’ with a Pashtun in Pashto

Imagine talking to an Afghan, chatting with a Chechen

What a neat achievement that would be!

If we could talk to the Taliban, learn what’s on their minds,

Some resolution just might be at hand.

We’d study history and culture, politics and nurture,

We’d speak to Mullah Omar and perhaps we’d see!

If we could talk to the Taliban, learn their languages,

Think of all the things we could discuss.

If we could walk with the Taliban, talk with the Taliban,

Negotiate a deal with the Taliban,

We might just leave Afghanistan!

Henry Srebrnik, a professor of political studies at UPEI, fancies himself a poet, but isn’t certain he actually subscribes to the views expressed in this parody.

Letters to the editor: sometimes we get them and don't put them online

Editor:

      The following represents the view of one Sociology class at the University of Prince Edward Island, who brainstormed on potential solutions to a continuing environmental crisis. Of particular concern to this generation is the lack of leadership around the many issues requiring immediate attention. We acknowledge that there are green initiatives being taken by larger governing bodies and organisations, but these initiatives will not work without the support of citizens in the global community. It is evident that the current economic crisis has put environmental issues on the back burner. 

      Despite the enormity of the challenge that lay ahead, we propose the following as a start to help preserve and restore our environment: 

 Finding new sources of sustainable energy, which require commitment to develop and maintain. We need to find alternative ways to utilize resources and materials. If we are not going to invest our money in green technology now there is no way we can go back once the damage has been done.

      Consumerism has taken over our lives and it has caused much damage to the environment. Today everything is commercialized and many of our material goods travel the globe before they reach our doorstep. These products leave a "global foot-print" the size of those countries that were enticed by the political economy of capitalism. Being proactive and taking a stand in how we use our resources and which products we choose to buy can help make a difference

       Education is the primary factor in solving environmental issues; it has the ability to change the way people think. We must take the initiative to learn about how we can make a difference. Making a difference could be as simple as recycling, buying locally, and using public transit. 

      There must be an individual commitment propelling community effort to change.  Everyday people have the ability to impact our global community on the local level.  Hence, we accept the slogan "think globally, act locally" and its call to action.  We know time is an important factor so we add the word "daily" to the slogan to reflect action now. We have the capacity to make our world a better place for present and future generations.

Katharine’s Great Geography Lesson

by Katharine MacDonald

In an effort to improve the geographical knowledge and international awareness of the UPEI student populace, MacDonald attempts to teach you about four new places you probably haven’t heard of (and neither have we).

In this week’s article, we’ll start with the ‘Barren, Cold Islands’ category.

1) The Kamchatka Peninsula, Sakhalin, & Kuril Islands, Far East Russia

Region within the Kamchatka and Sakhalin Oblast krai (state) on the Sea of Okhotsk

Main city: Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky (198,000)

Travel expense: as low as $7028 one-way from Toronto

Once known to Muscovites as the ‘land of fire’ because of its abundant (160) volcanoes, the Kamchatka peninsula is the southernmost stretch of Arctic tundra in the world. Bears, wolves, foxes, ermine, and many more kinds of mammals and fish call this region home, thanks to the temperate climate, low population density and minimal land development. The area has been greatly disputed in recent history, with Sakhalin and the Kurils being claimed by both Russia and Japan for the past century and a half.

2) The Faeroe Islands (Føroyar), Denmark

Autonomous province in the North Atlantic Ocean

Main city: Tórshavn (19,400)

Travel expense: $1031 one-way from Charlottetown to Copenhagen (Expedia won’t give me a figure to get to Vágar airport)

Found half-way between Ireland and Iceland are the Faeroe (or Faroe) islands, a cluster of eighteen small, green, rugged isles. Roughly 40,000 people inhabit the islands, where fishing and sheep-herding are the most common occupations. The Faeroes are the only place in the world where Faroese, a Germanic language similar to Norwegian, is principally spoken. A separatist movement has been present for some time, though past referendums have kept the Islands under Danish jurisdiction.

3) Anticosti Island (Ile d’Anticosti), Quebec

Island municipality belonging to Côte-Nord in the Gulf of St. Lawrence

Main city: Port-Menier (266, mostly lighthouse keepers)

Travel expense: Apparently, no one flies there - check for yourself, it’s airport “YPN”

The Island of Anticosti only became part of Quebec in 1974. Before then, it had a string of owners: the Innu and Mi’kmaq, the French, Louis Jolliet, the British Empire, Gabriel-Elzéar Taschereau, and not so long ago, a chocolate maker by the name of Henri Menier. Since then, the 20th largest island in Canada has become a formidable destination for hunters and fishers who cherish its unspoiled forests and harbours.

4) Aleutian Islands, Alaska

Archipelago along the Bering Strait in the North Pacific Ocean

Main city: Unalaska (4,300)

Travel expense: as low as $1243 one-way from Toronto

The Aleutians, home to the Aleut people, became part of the United States in the late 1860's. Before this time, the Islands were claimed by Russia, evident from the dotting of Russian Orthodox churches in Aleutian communities. The 300 or so islands extend straight from Alaska to Russia, and are part of the Pacific Ring of Fire, to which Kamchatka and the Kurils also belong. 

Picking Brilliant Brains: The Always Incredible Anne Furlong

by Katelyn Dykstra-Dykerman

  For those of you who have yet to take a course from Dr. Anne Furlong –  run, don’t walk! I will allay the rumors now: She is a tough marker, she expects that students actually do their work, she is high-energy, and she is a complete riot! I have, since taking Research Methods with Ann, highly esteemed her, and spend a good many hours hanging out in her office, much to the dismay of my papers and assignments. 

      Anne grew up in Newfoundland, which you will soon discover if you are witness to her fabulous story-telling. She is absolutely brilliant at Newfoundlander accents (as well as various others which are just as amusing). However, Anne has had many excursions off The Rock, which have lead her to the position she is in now. First, in 1976, Anne went to Boston for a year to attend the school of fine arts at Boston University, after which she returned to St. John’s for two years, then off to Sackville (more Arts school), then to Toronto, where she spent three years working at Mark’s and Spencer’s (I must admit, I could definitely be convinced by Anne to buy an expensive pair of pants). When she returned to Newfoundland, Anne began her M.A. at MUN, during which she applied for the Rothermere Fellowship, which she received. The Rothermere allowed her to attend The University College London, and begin her PhD research in Linguistics, all expenses paid. Nice deal, I say!

      Interestingly, Anne had only ever taken three undergraduate Linguistics courses. Therefore, it is easy to see why her PhD took her from 1986 to 1995. It was also difficult for Anne because there was no one in North America who studied the same thing as she did. “Still”, she says, “there are very few people in North America who do what I do”.

      I asked Anne why she likes being a Professor. She laughs, “it’s particularly because, as Mark Twain says ‘my tongue is hinged in the middle and swings both ways’”.  But really it’s because, like many of us life-long university goers, the “interpretive impulse is satisfied through talking – it is how we discover meaning and significance”. “The challenge of teaching” she’d argue, is “you’re constantly discerning how others see and discover texts – it’s fun!”. Also, “most people who like teaching, like performing, but I’m a bit different because I like to have the audience up on stage with me – to play with, and to play back to me”

      I am about to embark out into the wonderful world of grad school, and Anne’s thoughts about teaching, learning and being an academic have made me even more excited to do that (if that were possible – holy crap!). She says “I love being a prof because I spend my life with the best minds going – alive or dead. Like Socrates says, “True knowledge exists in knowing you know nothing”. However, she does admit that there are things she does not like: “I don’t like marking [...] I don’t deal well with apprentice writing”. I am sure we all cringe at this comment, because I think back to my first-year papers, and I feel awful for the Profs who just shook their heads at my abominable use of commas and semi-colons.

      When speaking about the students in class that don’t really want to be there, Anne says; “you don’t realize how painful and difficulty it is to deal with disrespect for your life and passion”. So, I asked what advice Anne had for first-year students; “If you’re not having a really good time here, you’re in the wrong place – and it’s ok not to be here [...] If it’s fun, it always sustains you”.  

Favorite Book: Middlemarch by George Eliot. “It’s the most important book in my life. It has beautifully well-developed characters in Nineteenth-Century literature [...] It’s why I’m a prof [...] It taught me how to read”.

Favorite Movie: Babette’s Feast, because it’s about love and art. And also, it’s funny and touching.

Favorite Music: “At the moment, Spem in Alium. It’s a forty voice motet. I like Baroque music, choral music – renaissance. I like lots of other things as well, but that’s the stuff I always come back to”.

What would you do if you had Stephen Harper’s job right now?: “I’d probably hang myself”, she laughs. “I would do something no politician would do – I’d put governance ahead of politics. I’d put the money where it belongs; education, improving the social fabric, health and infrastructure. I’d build a best process where the best people in the political structure were running the country. In short, I want to make want to make the goal of governance to let people live with the dignity that befits a human being”.  

An Ethnography on Gingers

by Louise Cockram and Conor Leggott

With thanks, apologies and a roshambo challenge to South Park)

Anthropologists study different societies to understand cultures in their own context while discovering what it means to be human. Ginger people, however, seem to be underrepresented in anthropology and their distinct behaviours, practices and beliefs have yet to be studied extensively. Perhaps anthropologists are scared of igniting their fiery tempers or maybe Gingers are not exotic enough to warrant any serious study. We as anthropologists shall attempt to reverse this trend and delve into Ginger culture.

We have all seen them walking our streets, in our grocery stores and attending our classes: those with red hair, light skin and freckles. It is believed that this condition is caused by “Gingervitis”, a disease resulting from their having no souls. Most people in the civilized world view them as disgusting and generally dumber than ordinary people. They are marginalised and discriminated against because of their unusual hair-colour. They are often seen as “weedy” and having an uncontrollable temperament.

While the rest of the world is a dangerous place for Gingers, there appears to be one safe haven for these beings sometimes referred to as the “scum of the Earth”. Where is this crimson paradise? One would have to travel to the mysterious Island of Prince Edward.

On Prince Edward Island gingers seem to have achieved an almost cult-like status. This is probably born out of the frenzy surrounding Anne of Green Gables, the mythical figure whom all Islanders trace their lineage back to. Island mythology is rich with lore involving Gingers. A popular story is that in ancient days, non-Ginger babies were cast upon the cliffs as a plea for the gods to send them more carrot tops.

Such extreme idolatry for Gingers is also present around the globe. Pilgrims from as far away as Germany and Japan come to PEI annually to pay homage and catch a rare photograph of these redheads, or perhaps even Anne herself. While the real Anne passed into legend centuries ago, these worshippers often mistake everyday Gingers on PEI for the illustrious Green Gabler going so far as to photograph them and ask how Gilbert is doing.

PEI allows Gingers to live their lives without fear of discrimination and they are allowed to interact with other Islanders off-leash. At UPEI, the ginger community is thriving with red hair being seen as a major asset. Some believe that Gingers “are smarter than most hair colours”. This trend is also apparent by the fact that many of those we observed were not born ginger and had actually chosen to become redheads later in life. Those Ginger from birth told stories of precocious octogenarians suggestively stroking the redheads and mumbling prayers to their great ancestor.

Despite the veneration Gingers enjoy on PEI, they remain one of the most misrepresented groups in Western society. They are often portrayed negatively and are sometimes the victims of violence, particularly on November 20th, “National Kick a Ginger Day”. Perhaps people should follow the Island example and treat people of all hair colours favourably. Perhaps Gingers are no different from any other hair-colours - neither gods nor scum. Perhaps we simply create that difference in order to feel better about ourselves.